I just returned from a two-week trip to the United States. Considering this was my first trip home since making Aliyah last March, it was a big deal for me. Wait a minute – I thought Scott wasn’t calling the U.S. “home” anymore, because Israel is his home now? True, I did make a big deal out of saying that in an earlier column, and I took a lot of flack for it from my family. But after returning for the holidays, I admit that I can’t stop the U.S. from being my “home” any more than I can stop being Jewish. It just is. I am a man with two homes.
I readjusted to life in America pretty quickly – but there were some immediate shocks to get through first. As I waited for a train to take me into Manhattan, I noticed a large American flag blowing in the wind. My first thought was – That’s odd. It was familiar and didn’t feel 100% bizarro, but I think I would have preferred seeing a large Israeli flag. I’m still not sure if this is because I’d gotten used to seeing scads of Israeli flags on display the last seven months, or because my heart speaks Israeli.
I was too exhausted to do anything but stare around the train car once I got inside. I started reading a liquor advertisement. Pour. Drink. Enjoy. Jameson’s. Next, I began reading the train’s evacuation instructions. That’s when it hit me: EVERYTHING’s in English! While it’s not uncommon to see English used in advertisements in Israel, to see so much of it was fairly mind-blowing.
Then there was the money. Even though shekel bills have translucent stars, and day-glow orange and metallic gold colors on them, it was suddenly good old fashioned American dollars that looked like Monopoly money to me.
The American experience comes back pretty quick, though. After my first two steps on a Manhattan sidewalk, I was like – oh yeah, this. It surprised me to see so many new buildings finished since I’d left, and spiffy, new bike lanes on major avenues. I felt a little “left out” or “not a part of” upon being hit with so many changes in New York had gone through without me.
I embarked on my own personal whirlwind tour of the city. Meetings with my friends were scheduled two hours apart all day long. Meet Mimi’s new baby for the first time at 9am, coffee with Matthew at 11, pick up Amy’s kids from school with her at 1:30pm, lunch with Stephen and Scott at 3, a movie with Burt at 5, drop into a rehearsal of my old chorus group at 7, dinner with Alan at 9, stop by Scooter’s studio at 11pm. Six days of this! It was a blast, but it was not relaxing. I’d hit the pillow every night and just crash.
As the week drew to a close, it only got more intense. There were so many people to see and only so many slots. Over-scheduling and arriving late or needing to skedaddle prematurely just wasn’t fun. There was the added complication of having to use my BlackBerry for emailing, looking up contacts in my address book, and inputting appointments into my calendar, but switching to an American disposable cell phone to make and receive calls. Cumbersome, old-school texting is just so 90s! And none of my friends were in that phone’s address book, so I had a lot of “unknown callers,” which I didn’t like.
Interspersed with these appointments was a lot of shopping. Ricky’s (hair products), Kiehl’s & Aveda (skin products), CVS (toiletries), Bed Bath & Beyond, Universal Gear (underwear sale), Macy’s (six pairs of shorts for $100!), Body Shop, Vitamin Shoppe (why are vitamins so much more expensive in Israel?), and so on. So, while I was running around to meet all my friends, the (environmentally friendly canvas) shopping bag I lugged around kept getting heavier.
I had a few roadtrips to New Jersey to see my friends Larry, Adam, The Edge and Bono. Yeah, my family might think the timing of my visit was driven by Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, but the trip’s anchor was always back-to-back U2 shows in Giants Stadium. The boys did not disappoint!
I spent the rest of my time with my family in Philadelphia. This part of the trip was more relaxing. There was a lot of sleeping involved. And playing with dogs. I got to see the whole mishpacha for both major holidays, and nothing could ever compare with this. We are a close family, and the energy when we’re together is on a special frequency I can’t get anywhere else. I came bearing gifts for everyone from the wonderful artist-vendors at Nachalat Binyamin, and it’s always fun for me to give presents.
I was able to enjoy a lot of one-on-one time with my mom, and when I joined my brother’s family for a roadtrip to see Dad (in the middle of the state), I got to spend four whole hours next to my darling, 19-month-old niece. I broke out the puppets I’ve been entertaining her with over Skype, and hopefully she made the connection that “I’m the guy inside the TV” who talks to her once a week.
Before I knew it, it was time to go. Time to leave home…and return to Israel. Would she still feel like my home when I got there? After all the time together with so many people I care about, in the airport by myself I felt so alone. But I had a hunch once my life in Israel got hold of me and started to move the story forward again, I would feel fine. Sure enough, when I landed and already had friends’ SMS, voicemails and Facebook messages to answer, this was a great comfort.
If Israel was the reason I had some initial issues adjusting to life in the States again, shouldn’t I have just dropped back into life here, no problem? Not so simple, it turns out. After two weeks of the “polishedness” that is America (giant shopping malls, wide roads, pristine neighborhood developments, wood floors in homes, 5,000 Starbucks locations, etc.) I did crash-land in the Homeland upon my return (mirroring the start of my trip in America). But just as quickly as before, I recovered.
Those were the biggest things I learned about myself from this first trip back. That I can have two homes, and that’s OK. And that transitioning between them isn’t seamless, but at least it’s quick and painless.