Welcome to our series of articles on the singles scene in Tel Aviv. Life, love, and lust, all wrapped up in a Middle Eastern glow and penned by the wonderful Pixi…if you’re easily offended, look away now!
The Israeli Wedding – Love, Ibiza style
It must be said that the Israeli wedding is a cultural phenomena like no other. Weddings in this country are an anthropological experience that mustn’t be missed. Israelis take the celebration of love to a whole new level, making even the debauchery of Ancient Rome look dull.
Let’s take a look at some of the reasons I love Israeli weddings…
The Wedding Whine (not to be confused with WINE)
Weddings are often likened to parking fines here. The act of stuffing an envelope with a big chunk of your month’s salary for a couple you barely know kind of takes away from the intimacy of the occasion. Weddings are big affairs here and the more guests/envelopes, the better the event. Because of this you are bound to hear moans and groans at the arrival of a wedding invitation, especially if you are not close friends with the couple.
The Dress Code
Years ago Israeli weddings used to be a casual affair where even jeans and a t-shirt would suffice. These days, they are going all out on the fashion front. Tight skirts, tighter dresses, leopard prints, heels and an overall aim to out-sexy the bride herself. I’ve noticed a particular trend among mothers of the groom who seem to dress half their age and young girls who are dressing double their age. Apparently appropriate dress needs to be checked in at the door, along with the stuffed envelopes.
I’ve seen my fair share of classy venues in Israel. On the flipside, I’ve seen some horrible ones. Smoke machines, disco lights, glass sculptures, waterfall backdrops and an elevated DJ who towers above the dance floor as if he’s playing in an Ibiza nightclub. One of the most adorable aspects of the Israeli wedding is the old grandmothers ripping it up to the sounds of Infected Mushroom and Jenifer Lopez. At this point, credit must be paid to all Israelis who, no matter how tacky the venue, or how vomit inducing the music, know how to party the right way.
The Pickup Potential
‘Wedding Wildness’, ‘bridesmaid banging’ , ‘hupa horniness’ – call it what you will. Weddings can be a hub of sexual activity. The debauchery of it all – 6 course meals, free alcohol and those tight leopard print dresses are enough to drive any single guests crazy. The best place to find your wedding fling? The dance floor of course! You are bound to find the groom’s inebriated best friend or a lonely single girl who wishes it could be her turn.
To all of you potential wedding guests, Mazal Tov and good luck! If you are going to stuff the envelope with cash anyway, why not make the night worth every shekel. Eat, drink and party as if you truly were in Ibiza!