20 things you’ll never hear an Israeli say…

Things Israelis will NEVER sayWe love ’em in Israel, those Israelis! Seriously, they can be some of the finest people on the planet, especially when you’re talking about friendliness, warmth and amazing hosting.

Then again, when you get to mix it with Israelis on a daily basis, you soon get to pick up on some of their less admirable quirks…we’ve introduced you to a few of the locals here, but in the list below we’ve compiled a golden little list of the things Israelis will NEVER say. Even if you twist their arms and pull their hair, honest guv.

OK, it’s only a bit of humor, but for those of us who know, there are some nuggets in this little list…

  1. “Let’s do it by the book this time.”

  2. “Ah, it’s my round!”

  3. “I beg your pardon!”

  4. “I don’t have a cellphone.”

  5. “I just purchased this on iTunes…”

  6. “I understand you but I’m inclined to disagree.”

  7. “I hate my mother’s cooking.”

  8. “I purchased Microsoft Office.”

  9. “I hate going to places that are full of other Israelis.”

  10. “Isn’t it a little cramped in here?”

  11. “Let’s leave the waitress a little more than 10%…”

  12. “I could never ask for a discount…”

  13. “I never exceed the speed limit.”

  14. “Merry Christmas!”

  15. “I’ll have that Easter egg on the top shelf please.”

  16. “OK, beloved wife, I’ll ask someone for directions.”

  17. “The French are very nice people.”

  18. “Thank you for arriving earlier than we scheduled.”

  19. “Amir Peretz was a great Defence Minister.”

  20. “It was my fault.”


  1. Naomi

    June 4, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    I don´t understand. Why wouldn´t they say these things?

    • Ashley

      June 4, 2012 at 6:11 pm

      Think opposites, Naomi, opposites… :-)

  2. joanne

    September 20, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Love it!

  3. Mad scientist

    September 25, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Something I noticed after returning from 2 years in the states:

    (to a child while standing in line) “Junior, give this gentleman his space”

  4. Michael

    November 6, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    I just moved here – same same…. would be great to have a coffee – this is hilarious

    • Ashley

      November 7, 2012 at 8:49 am

      Glad you like! Plenty more on the site…and to come!

  5. Bart

    February 20, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    I’ve personally heard my Israeli girlfriend say numbers 2,3,4,6,7,11,14 and 20! Maybe that’s why she’s so keen on moving to Europe with me?

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